For anyone who has sung on a worship team in the house of prayer for any length of time, you know that there is a mundane-ness, even a real trouble to coming again and again, day after day, to minister in the House of Prayer.
After the initial glow wears off and the beginning zeal wanes, the real work begins. And it is work.
I don’t mean to give off the impression that we’re all a bunch of bummed out singers and musicians. On the contrary! I count what we do as one of the most precious gifts from the Lord. I’m honored and amazed that I get to stand before Him as a priest in His house. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do or anywhere I’d rather be than here with a community of believers who are dedicated to His glory and watching for His coming. However, we are still human! For every day I sit on that stage with tears in my eyes, deeply encountering the Lord, there are three where doing what I do is a battle against the flesh. I feel bored, weak, prideful, distracted.
There have been seasons where set after set I sat up there struggling to love Him when all I felt was overlooked and dispensable.
There have been many times where as I got settled in to sing for the set, the Holy Spirit would convict me of something I had done or said to someone earlier. I would repent to the Lord and be forgiven, but I still had to be a prophetic singer for two hours before I would be able to contact the person I had wronged. Now that is a struggle against condemnation!
In the difficulty and struggle of staying steady as a singer in the House of Prayer, there are three truths I come back to that help to keep my heart steady in the midst of the “work” of being a prophetic singer.
First, each time I sing a worship set with a sincere heart of worship to the Lord, He receives it as love and is pleased with me. Even when my eyes are blinded to any form of impact, my offering of worship reaches His ears. Just the fact that I am coming again and not giving up is a gift of faithful love in His sight. Not one moment or struggle is wasted when it is offered to Him in sincerity.
The second truth that keeps my heart on the right track is that even when I feel nothing, the Lord will use my song to touch the heart of His people. There are times when my heart feels weighed down by condemnation and weakness and right in the middle of all the fleshly baggage the Lord gives me an oracle/song to sing over the room. It is difficult to sing out His heart right in the middle of my own personal barrenness, but the truth is, the Lord will use it to impact the heart of another. Sometimes I think in those moments that He is working the second commandment into my heart, that I would love the people in the room and over the web-stream and care for their hearts as much as I do my own. My song is an act of service, and He will use it.
Thirdly, if I am faithful to just sing His word day by day, He will write it on my heart. It feels so far-fetched in the mundane moment that the words I’m singing are accomplishing anything. However, as Scripture is coming out of my mouth, it is being inscribed upon my inner-man. How I process life, interact with those around me and the responses of my heart are shifted and changed over time as I sing the Word. The knowledge of Him is formed within me. What a gift. I simply remain faithful to come again and again, and He gives me life deep in my spirit.
The Holy Spirit is so kind to help us day after day as we set our hearts to say yes to Him. He is dedicated to seeing Jesus exalted in all the earth. He takes pleasure in helping us to overcome barrenness and weakness in order that we would offer the Lamb the praises of which He is worthy.